He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
