When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
