Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
