To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
