I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Fuck appropriateness.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
