If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
