the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
