Having a random hookup so left but love u
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
