Well apparently he's into motor boating.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
