I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
