Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
