i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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