Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
