If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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