Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
