Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
