Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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