with your own penis?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
