Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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