just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
