Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize