North Korea, Best Korea!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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