Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
