You work out of a Hotel?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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