4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
