guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
