I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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