If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
