I CAN MOONWALK!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
