he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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