Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
