What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
