does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The beer is more important than you right now.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm at about main and main street
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
