eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
