dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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