How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
