if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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