I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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