she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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