we have officially lost it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
