During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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