No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need to align my fucking chakras
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
