i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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