garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
