Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
