It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
