The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
