True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
