I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i have herpe
just one?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
be right there i have to get my cape
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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