you guys were way drunker than both of me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
