We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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