rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
